The Philopatrios Times

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Philopatrios — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:56:41 GMT

We have to get the word out that Phil Gramm will never be one of President John McCain's economic advisers. People need to hear that only seasoned veterans, like those who helped me create the present Bush economic miracle, will be advising. This is vitally important because most Americans feel McCain lacks the economic savvy to manage an ATM card and they are real right on that.

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Philopatrios — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:53:45 GMT

Now that President Bush has Steve Schmidt in charge of John McCain's campaign, he wants us to liaison with Schmidt's team and begin swift-boat anyone questioning McCain's emotional judgment. He wants people like this Timberg, the guy who compared "being on liberty with John McCain was like being in a train wreck", drowned in the sea of public opinion. The President is a serious as cancer about this!

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Philopatrios — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:40:20 GMT

Just were does this Wesley Clark get off talking about John McCain's Vietnam experience not being relevant to being President. Clark is nothing but an ignorant old Army general: he doesn't know about the fine art of fighter piloting. I do, that's because I was a Vietnam era pilot just like John. Us pilots see things from high up and we learn to make decisions from way off the ground. We can plan policy from far, far away and then not go worrying about what damage we might be causing down below. John McCain, because of his fighter piloting, will be every bit as good a President as I have been, well maybe not every bit. I am a bit better, never got shot down like old John did.

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Philopatrios — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 11:43:39 GMT

I don't know were John McCain gets these people, guys like his so called top strategist Charlie Black. The guy is a buffoon, a clown, worse. I know about clownish buffoonery and I know Black took one of the best things my Administration could do to help elect McCain right off the table. All the dirty tricks we have been brainstorming around with will all backfire on us now, windup hurting our Republican cause, not helping like they would have before this blockhead Black shot his damn mouth off about how some terrorism would assure a McCain victory.

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Philopatrios — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 10:01:33 GMT

President Bush wants us to explain why this idiot Charlie Black, even though he works for John McCain, how he doesn't speak for McCain or this Administration. He wants us to beat the drum extolling McCain's patriotism in every press briefing. He wants messages that stress how old John can't stand thinking about doing dirty tricks with terrorism just to get himself elected. It is time to spin up our propaganda propellers, make so much noise that all facts get lost in our prop wash. May the god of spin be with us and may the President convince McCain to fire this moron Black like yesterday!

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Philopatrios — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:39:47 GMT

I sent a team of Guantanamo Bay prisoner abuse specialists to the Chinese government, to look into reports of 1,000 Buddhist monks missing in their state of Tibet. Our people just reported back that those monks aren't missing; they are all in training to work the concession stands at the Olympics, selling fast food Chinese. Nothing wrong with monks learning a skill, by working the games might even land a job at McDonalds, be better than mumbling old chants all their lives. It also means John McCain and I are again clear to be at the Olympics this summer and stand together on the stage of world opinion.

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Philopatrios — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 11:36:27 GMT

Obama's people are accusing me of being naive about attacking Iraq. I only wish I could let people know that me and my staff knew exactly what would happen. We knew it would cost 500,000 Iraqi lives, knew our military would be there for a 100 years, knew the American people would spend hundreds of billions and knew how much close friends would make off my war. I would love to let people know we aren't a bunch of rubes, but that wouldn't help get John McCain elected.

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Philopatrios — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:56:09 GMT

Now that I got that damn fool House impeachment resolution sidelined, got it sequestered so it won't see the light of day until I am out of office, it is time to devote all our efforts to getting John McCain elected. That's cause he will protect my posterior after I leave the White House. He has assurred me there will be no investigating into why we invaded Iraq, or about other things me and the Vice President done. Be no looking back with old John McCain: we will be free at last, free at last.

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Philopatrios — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:34:03 GMT

John McCain supports my Iraq War all the way. He is even planning to restore the Draft just as soon as we get him elected. That way he will have the troops needed to salvage my accomplished mission and to stay the course for 100 years. What all our friends need to know is that he will build in a whole lot of exemptions so the right kind of youngsters don't get sucked in, better Draft exemptions than those that kept me, the Vice President and most of this Administration out of the Vietnam mess.

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Philopatrios — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:32:01 GMT

President Bush wants us to explain why John McCain still supports the Iraq War, after so many insiders have gone on the record about how this administration fabricated facts to justify invading Iraq. The President wants us to include messages extolling McCain's patriotism in every press briefing. He wants messages that stress how John stands with his President no matter what, always supports American troops and can't stand traitorous little snitches like Scott McClellan. It is again time to spin up our propaganda propellers, to make so much noise that real facts get left in our prop wash. May the god of spin be with us!

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Philopatrios — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:40:02 GMT

Of course I told lies to get us into Iraq. Any school child knows that. Don't know why Scott McClellan didn't. If we didn't bend a lot of truth, we never would have done what we done over there. This whole McClellan double-cross signifys just why I'm backing John McCain so hard. He sat right here in the White House and told me there would be no investigating into how we thought up Iraq. There will be no need to look backwords with John. He will protect my Presidential legacy.

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Philopatrios — Wed, 28 May 2008 07:57:03 GMT

The President feels that economic policy is No Country for Old Men. He feels that is why John McCain has so much trouble dealing with economics. Because of all that, the President wants Ben Bernanke to start briefing McCain weekly, starting like yesterday, give him good crisp econ sound bites, tidbits that make him sound informed and that help him defend our economic miracle with the voters.

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Philopatrios — Sat, 24 May 2008 10:28:13 GMT

I and John McCain adamantly oppose this new GI bill floating around Congress, the one that gives people who have served only three years in the military full educational benefits. John and I believe it is too costly and will only encourage troops to get out of the service after only one or two combat tours. Get out after being trained to be the world's best warriors. This country can't wage my war on terrorism and can't preserve my Presidential legacy with incentives to back slide like this bill allows.

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Philopatrios — Wed, 21 May 2008 08:53:50 GMT

I understand John McCain confuses many with his policy speeches. He wraps them up in so many fuzzy quotes from long dead people. But this President understands what he is saying loud and clear. That's because we are both fighter pilots and see things from high up, make decisions from way off the ground. John's number 1 foreign policy is to support my legacy of perpetual war. We both plan policy from long ago and far away.

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Philopatrios — Wed, 21 May 2008 08:46:23 GMT

Of course, I am backing John McCain. He had a dream just like me. He talked about his in Ohio. He is going to preserve my Presidential legacy by fighting in Iraq to the end, by killing or capturing Osama bin Laden, by defeating Al-Qaeda, by making Pakistan cooperate, by applying the counterinsurgency I learned in Iraq everywhere lawlessness thrives, by reestablishing the draft, by tripling the national debt. John is my man, my terminator, a fellow fighter pilot with big dreams like me.

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